Saturday, October 27, 2007

Eulogy

We buried Jake today. It has been the longest two days of my life. So many people loved him. Here are some pictures and his Eulogy:



BORN 7-9-05 at 7:06 2 pounds, 14 ounces, half a heart


1st Birthday



2nd Birthday


Eulogy to The Face

i carry your heart with me by ee cummings


i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)




So many people knew of Jake’s amazing journey through life as a heart baby. Born 10 weeks prematurely, with half a heart, the multiple surgeries, the 2 separate resuscitations that brought him back to us twice before. Jake always had legions of people praying for him to continue being a miracle on Earth.

For those who didn’t know him personally, he was a small, chubby cheeked boy with a killer smile that could light up even the darkest room. Forceful and stubborn, with a strong personality and particular way of doing things, he waited patiently for everyone else to fall in line with his plans. He liked to walk his bike and watch Elmo, dance and sing. He spent hours playing his music and drumming.

His greatest happiness in life was spending time with his family. He never let you forget he was around or forget to pay attention. He copied our expressions and movements – anything to make us laugh. He hated to sleep or let us sleep. Some of our fondest, and not so fond, memories are of his little hand tap-tapping away on our face until we finally got up for an exasperated Jake. If four hours of sleep was good enough for him it was good enough for everyone.

We will never forget all the joy and laughter he brought to everyone and how he made each day happy and fun.

Last Friday night, with his eyes so swollen he could barely open them, with infection raging through his little body, with tubes and wires everywhere, he opened his eyes to see us standing there. And even though our jokes were bad, he mustered up his last bit of energy and smiled at us.

Jake, you are the most courageous soul we ever knew. It was a privilege to be your mommy and daddy. If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever.

31 comments:

chatty cricket said...

Goodnight Sweet Boy.

We are sending our love and prayers to you and your family.

Anonymous said...

Beth sent me, this is my first visit to your site and your posts about Jake have moved me to tears. I am so, so sorry for your loss.

1blueshi1 said...

What a beautiful poem. I will always think of Face when I see that now.

katie d said...

now i know what that poem really means. it's always been one of my favorites, but i did not grok it till now. :( i'm sorry i couldn't be there with you today. i'm thinking of all of you and wish you peace. xo, kd

Krista said...

I linked from another blog. Just reading a little of his life brought tears to my eyes. May you find comfort in your memories!

Aimee Greeblemonkey said...

Came over from Beth's place, and I can't imagine the agony you are in right now. My son was born 8 weeks premature, but has conquered all the problems from his early birth. I am so sorry that the same did not hold true for Jake, but I am so happy that you had the time with him that you did. Best wishes to you and your family.

Crooked Eyebrow said...

I also cam from Beth's. No words can ever mend what you are feeling, but I hope memories of Jake will help.

Erica said...

I have no idea what to say. Anything I try to say will sound hollow and trite to your grief-swollen ears.

I cannot imagine the pain you must be feeling. I'm so grateful that Jake had such a loving family for his too short life. You gave him the best mommy and daddy he could have asked for and his life had more meaning and love than some people's ever have in 70 years of living.

I think about you and Jake daily. You have helped me be more patient with my daughter. I cherish each and every moment because I never know when it will be her last. Thank you for that.

SciFi Dad said...

I too, am here via Beth (she the fish said). It is my first time reading your blog.

I am so sorry for your loss. To outlive your child is a horror no one should face.

From what little I know of him, your son sounds like a strong boy. Take pride in raising him to be such a fighter.

LISA said...

I am so so very sorry. I am crying and pained at your loss. He was for sure a blessing and you wil cherish his life forever. I am so happy he gave you that one last smile to end his chapter in this world. He went with happiness and thats all we can ever hope for..for ourselves.

Helen said...

It's a beautiful poem, a beautiful eulogy for a beautiful little boy.

I continue to think about you daily, and when I do I think of Jake.

Emily said...

My heart goes out to you. My twin nieces arrived three months early and slipped away a few days later. It came to me at the time that they were like fireflies, sharing their tiny lights with us for a moment before fading into the twilight. I carry a pair of fireflies tattooed on my ankle in their honor. I will think of them playing happily somewhere with Jake next time a firefly goes drifting through the evening shadows.

Anonymous said...

Not able to express myself so beautifully as some of the folks who have commented here, but just wanting to throw it out there that my thoughts are with you. Having stumbled on to your blog a few days ago, I've read some of these final posts for my mother, and she also sends her good wishes to yourself and your family at this time.

Diane said...

I also came from Beth's blog. I'm so sorry for everything that you and your family are going through with Jake's passing.

Katie said...

I came over from Beth's blog too, and just wanted to offer my condolences. That was a beautiful tribute for such a beautiful soul. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Shelly said...

Here from Beth's also and crying for your loss. What a special, beautiful little boy. I'm so very sorry he's gone. May God be with you all.

Zoe said...

What a beautiful choice. I am amazed by your strength. My thought and prayers are with you

Kerri said...

God bless you and your family. I am so sorry for your loss.

Charles said...

Beautiful.

Your love, and Jake's love shines thru the words.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know there are not words that will help you, but know that Jake's life has inspired me to appreciate my small trials even more. Thank you for sharing your beautiful boy Jake. (hugs)

Erin said...

I found you via Helen. I know there is nothing I can say to ease any of your pain, but had to tell you how very sorry I am. Your words and love for Jake have moved me to tears, and I am so sorry for your incredible loss.

Anonymous said...

Very much understanding your absence from this space, but feeling concerned for you and checking back daily.

Charles said...

I also understand your pain; please know we care and are concened.

Book Girl said...

I just came across your blog via a link, and I am so very sorry for your loss. What a beautiful little boy, taken far too soon.

Nelba said...

I'm so sorry. He was beautiful and loved. That I can see, even though I'm a stranger here.

Our son would have been two years old today. (5 Nov)

Kerri said...

I'm thinking of you too, and checking back frequently. I wish you peace during this grieving process.

Anna Mae said...

I found this blog through a link, and have been thinking of you every day. My heart goes out to you. Your courage and love are incredibly moving. I send you my most heartfelt best wishes.

Mary Beth said...

It was truly a BEAUTIFUL face. My condolences.

amanda said...

I have landed here through SO THE FISH SAID and know that nothing I could say would possibly make it better or more bearable for you. I feel honored to have been able to spend a little time with your precious boy, through your blog. I will think of your family every time I see the poem I carry you in my heart.... It is on my bathroom mirror. God Speed little man, may you never suffer again.

Hula Doula said...

I came by Zeno.
I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face. As I look into the face of an absolute angel I can not begin to understand how you must feel losing Jake. My heart is just breaking for you.
Please accept my condolences. I know that nothing I say can take away the pain of your loss.
Godspeed little Jake. You look like you were an angel on earth....now you join the heavens

Lisa said...

I have been thinking of you lately. I hope you are as well as can be expected in this sad, sad time. The eulogy was beautiful.