Thursday, July 05, 2007

The New Normal

Jake is in the beginning stages of congestive heart failure at this point. It means that no matter what I want, he needs his next operation.

Damn, for a second I really thought I could be Master of the Universe. I look so hot in the tights.

What it means in practical terms is that some of his other body functions have slowed down, in particular his intestines, to the point of ridiculousness. He is so bloated from back up that his lungs are being squeezed out by his stomach. They kept showing me x-rays of his stomach going – “do you SEE that?”

Uh, no. I have as much of an idea of what a baby’s stomach looks like as I do his pancreas. None. And by the way, my least favorite medical phrase is “I’ve never seen anything like this!”

He was already on a laxative but now he is on the maximum dose. He is also on his way to a school-aged child’s dosage of Benefiber. He has swelling in his ankles from excess fluid, making walking tougher. Just when he finally learned!

In keeping with his old-man image, he gets winded easily and after a little exertion he is out of breath. Doesn’t slow him down a bit of course. He also grunts getting up, down or bending over.

So I’m torn between hilarity and sadness. Hilarity at my old little man and sadness, cause he doesn’t realize this isn’t the way it’s supposed to be.

He is also VERY cranky. He wants to do so much but he gets so out of breath and tired that he cant, so he gets frustrated.

Now the next operation cant come fast enough. I cant help him, only they can. My sweet little man.

Welcome to the new normal – hopefully only good for 60 days until a new, better normal sets in!


zeno said...

Ah babe.

Jenie said...

:( hugs to you both. what a champ that little guy is. i wish i'd hurry up and win the lottery for the both of you. xo xo xo kd